Dream or Memory?
There is a strange point in the sleep cycle, where you feel you are awake, and yet, despite your efforts to rise, you are unable to do so. Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s a typical phenomenon of sleep, I don’t know. Perhaps I should reasearch this.
I have had a strange recurring dream throughout my life. I remember having it when I was very young. It is difficult to describe, but I will try to do so here.
I am at the top of a slope. A staircase, perhaps. I can hear a distinct rhythmic thumping sound, like a heartbeat, but louder. I am surrounded by a bright red light. I am warm, although not uncomfortably so. I begin to fall, head first, down the slope. As I do so, the thumping sound increases in volume, and slightly in tempo. I begin to feel squeezed, and have the sensation that I can’t get enough air. I begin to feel panic, as the suffocating sensation increases. I am submerged in water. I gasp for air, and, to my surprise, I can breathe underwater. I take another breath. It really is so. I can breathe water. Suddenly I wake up. It takes a while for the panic to go away, but I am awake. I wonder about the dream, and wonder why it seems so real, and why it recurs.
I am nearly 50 years old, and the older I get, the less often I have the dream. But I still have it, occasionally.
Years ago, after giving birth to my children, I had the dream and began to wonder, Is it a memory of my own birth, buried deep in my subconscious mind? It makes sense that it could be. All the sensations could be those associated with birth. I guess I’ll always wonder.
I was reminded of this dream as I read another blog entry written by someone I’ve never met who describes a similar dream. I will contact that person and compare experiences.
I may never really know…
